Behind the Scenes: Second Child Sticker Shock

Hey y'all! I'm joining the beautiful Crystal Stine for her "Behind the Scenes" link-up today! Come join in the fun - pick one of your most instagram-worthy photos, but give us the real story. The sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it. 

The Photo

This boy. 

My baby. 

My mess-maker. 

My heart beat. 

He makes me laugh every day. It's hard to believe that just a few short months ago I was crying in frustration over this child. A newborn who wouldn't sleep anywhere other than his swing. A babe who wouldn't be soothed by anyone other than his Momma. A little guy who, it seemed at the time, loved crying more than anything else in the world. In those fleeting moments, I thought for sure that this is how it was going to be for the rest of my life. I shuddered to think of a five-year-old sleeping in a baby swing. I cried out to God, evening after evening. Bone-tired from the endless walking in circles around my living room trying desperately to comfort this wailing thing in my arms. I questioned God's reasoning for giving me a child like this. I questioned my sanity in praying for a second child. My husband nodded his head as if to say, "Don't blame me!" My three-year-old cried because the baby was crying. 

And I cried, too.    Again. 

How easy it is to lose sight of the big picture when in the throes of child-raising. Down in the gritty, gut-wrenching depths of sleeplessness and never-ending tears. Knee-deep in diapers and a baby who is still trying to learn how to nurse.  

Now I've blinked and the tiny baby is gone. The crying has passed (for the most part). Smiling has taken up residence on his round little face. He's perfectly content to play with big sister or Daddy (though Mommy still has the magic touch). He sleeps for 12 hour stretches in his crib without so much as a peep. 

As we near the one-year celebration of this bouncy blessing, it's easy to forget where we started. The sticker shock of a second child will fade away. I already have trouble remembering what life was like with just one. An easy one at that. I'm thankful for God's goodness in giving me two children. He knew what He was doing even if I didn't. 

Behind the Scenes: Is This a Photo Shoot?

I'm linking up today over at Crystal Stine's place for her first ever "Behind the Scenes" Link-up!
A chance to give readers a sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of our edited, pinterest-worthy photographs to the real life behind them. 

For those of you who don't know me, I have a slight case of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. (Totally self-diagnosed.) I'm a neat freak. Organization makes me happy. When a person walks into my home, I want them to think they've stumbled upon a photo-shoot for Pottery Barn. Walking into a tidy, picturesque room is like a breath of fresh air for me. It gives me life.

But do you know what else gives me life? My kids. Family. Laughter. Lasagna and garlic bread crumbs spilled all over the floor after dinner. Apple juice drops dried on the tile floor. These things give me life because they ARE my life.

I've had to loosen my grip on having order in my home. I've had to give in to dirty dishes piled high by the sink (and let them sit there overnight). Because, at the end of the day, when there's just enough light left to play one more round of freeze tag, I know where my priorities are. I want to grab what's left of the day and run with it. I want to run with flailing, open arms toward my children, trying to catch their energy and praying it's contagious.

Yes. These moments give me life. I figure that in twenty years, I won't look back with fondness on my memories of standing at the sink, washing dishes. So the dishes can wait. My Pottery Barn photo shoot can wait. Right now, I'm living LIFE.